There's a Salesman in Every HR Professional

There's a salesman in all of us. 

I downloaded this pic for another post and, in a desire to not offend all the sales representatives in the space, elected not to use it. It's been  in my picture folder sitting and waiting for just the right time.

That time is now.

Give me the best sales line you've used on a friend, child, colleague, boss or other HR professional. You were selling, they weren't buying and you were looking to close a deal. What stops did you pull out?

Here are a few of mine:

• To a community colleague discussing the pros of a local HR department, "It's a very progressive human resource department." What?! Tell me what organizational HR department is progressive.
• To my young daughter at the top of a water park body slide,"Just slide nd you'll be out and in the pool before you even know it. Nope, it's not too dark in there at all." Successfully hiding my own claustrophobic fears, this backfired on me as the 4 year old went down and I simply had to follow her down the tube of doom.
• To the Eddie Bauer sales clerk explaining how my husband's new shorts split up the side seam, rendering them unwearable,"I was pulling him behind the boat on a tube and overestimated the speed needed for a fun turn. Well, last thing I saw was him cart-wheeling across the water. Oh wait, that was the truth.

Your turn. Give me your best shot.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Comments

[Elissa Jane Mastel]

there certainly is! couldn't agree with you more, I'm reposting this on our Twitter feed @jpatrickjobs

[recruiter]

I am tired of all the economic negative news. I think the reason the economy sounds bad has less to do with an actual recession than media sensationalism and doomsday pessimism. Everyone was in a panic in 1997 because of the Asian financial crisis, but the sky did not fall. I don’t think the media should lie about a high unemployment rate, but I would like to hear more positive news stories. Just like news reports about Y2K, killer bees, crack babies, Firestone tires, shark attacks, and the Gulf oil spill, people will soon realize any economic downturn is partly due to hype and life will go on.

http://www.usnews.com/money/blogs/alpha-consumer/2009/1/8/did-the-media-cause-the-recession.html

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/1998/int/980706/cover_story.one_year_aft33.html

I did some research and found that there is plenty of good news out there:

The recession officially ended in June 2009:

http://money.cnn.com/2010/09/20/news/economy/recession_over/?section=money_latest

The unemployment rate is falling:

http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/article/20110402/GPG0101/104020692/U-S-unemployment-rate-falls-2-year-low?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CGPG-News

The stock market has risen 53% recently and is still cheap:

http://www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2009/oct/15/cautious-optimism/?uniontrib

Apple, SkyWest, Kroger’s, General Mills, CarMax, Walgreen, Dell, Discover, and Nike are just some of the many respected American companies to have declared profits recently:

http://blog.seattlepi.com/microsoft/archives/182538.asp?from=blog_last3
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/flights/2009-11-05-skywest-q3-profit_n.htm

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/15/business/15kroger.html?src=busln

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-09-22/general-mills-first-quarter-profit-rises-12-on-sales-of-cereals-snacks.html

http://www.fayobserver.com/articles/2010/09/22/1033100?sac=Bus

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/29/business/29walgreen.html

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-02-15/dell-reports-profit-that-tops-estimates-on-business-pc-demand.html

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-03-22/discover-beats-estimates-on-declining-defaults-boosts-payout-shares-gain.html

http://www.oregonlive.com/playbooks-profits/index.ssf/2011/09/nike_posts_15_first_quarter_pr_1.html
US housing starts have risen:

http://blog.al.com/breaking/2009/10/us_housing_starts_rise.html

Business confidence has grown:

http://www.bostonherald.com/business/general/view.bg?articleid=1203965&srvc=rss

Factory orders have increased:

http://www.telegram.com/article/20110203/NEWS/110209884/1002/busines

Consumer confidence has climbed:

http://money.cnn.com/2010/08/31/news/economy/consumer_confidence/index.htm?section=money_latest

Consumer spending is up:

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE65M2WK20100628?loomia_ow=t0:s0:a49:g43:r5:c0.051546:b35270006:z0

The US GDP rose 3.1%:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Stocks-rise-on-Oracle-apf-2813128403.html?x=0

US exports rise:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/09/business/economy/us-exports-rise-to-record-as-trade-deficit-shrinks.html

North Dakota has an unemployment rate of 3.7%. South Dakota and Nebraska have unemployment rates of less than 5%. Singapore has an unemployment rate of just 2.2%. Unemployed people who move to these places can find work in agriculture, oil fields, schools, and hospitals. These newcomers will need to buy homes, food, and services creating more jobs. If you don’t have a job, move to an area with a better economy. If you can’t sell your house at the price you want, you shouldn’t have paid so much for it. If you don’t want to move and make trade-offs, I guess that you aren’t that desperate for work.

http://www.bls.gov/lau/

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703803904576152630710927512.html

http://www.jamestownsun.com/event/article/id/81609/

http://www.economist.com/node/18488276?story_id=18488276

The United States will face a labor SHORTAGE in the next few years as millions of baby boomers retire. There are 76 million baby boomers, but Generation X only has 46 million people.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002185894_boomers21.html

http://www.argusleader.com/article/20091107/business/911070331/1001/news

If you really want to stay where you are and haven’t found a job, think of a way to make money from your hobbies. Find a need and fill it. Do you like to cook? Are you good at fixing things? Do you like to paint? Optimists make more money and I strongly believe that if you do what you love, the money will follow. Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. If there is a recession, choose not to participate. Just because someone says there is a recession, doesn’t make it true. Just because most people used to believe the world was flat, did that make it true? If you are feeling negative, I highly recommend the book “You Can Have it All”:

http://www.librarything.com/work/508754

http://www.entrepreneur.com/management/managementcolumnistscotthalford/article207648.html

You might also feel less sorry for yourself or the economy if put your life in perspective. How would you like to trade places with someone in North Korea? Would you rather live in Burundi where the GDP per capita income is $300 per YEAR?

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2004rank.html?countryName=Burundi&countryCode=by&regionCode=af&rank=228

Even if things are really bad for you and you become homeless, there is a safety net of food banks, shelters, general relief, and food stamps. You could join a commune or a monastery.

America needs a good pep talk instead of negativity. I really think Obama would be more helpful to the economy by talking about the positive sides instead of pushing expensive stimulus programs. People should live within their means to avoid crashing the economy, but even when overextended, the United States has managed to pay the massive debts of the Depression and WWII.

http://zfacts.com/p/318.html

http://reuters.com/article/2011/09/29/idUS412302169920110929

Americans need to think more like immigrants. Politicians are too afraid to say it, but Americans should stop whining, get up, take responsibility, lower their standards, bite their lips, tough it out, and get busy. Americans should stop buying SUV’s and McMansions they can’t afford and pay off their debts. I have no sympathy for the sheep who went in debt to buy expensive restaurant meals, clothes, vacations, cars, and overpriced homes when times were good instead of saving for a rainy day. Buy LOW and sell HIGH. If people had put their money in the bank instead of wasting it they would still have it. NOW is the time to buy stocks and houses, not when the stock market and real estate prices are hitting record highs. The United States is capitalist not Communist. There is social Darwinism and survival of the fittest here. If Americans want a handout, they should move to Sweden. I have seen refugees from places like Vietnam immigrate to the US with NOTHING and own houses and cars five years later, while some lazy Americans who have lived in public housing and on welfare for GENERATIONS complain about how poor they are. Why can a third world immigrant who doesn’t speak English make more money in five years than some Americans who have lived in the US their entire life?

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/09/27/financial/f063017D17.DTL&ao=all

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704895004575395491314812452.html

The negative thinking about “tough times” and the supposedly “decline of the US” kills me. The USA is by far the richest and most powerful country in the world. Who invented the assembly line, telephones, movies, light bulbs, airplanes, air conditioning, elevators, skyscrapers, television, the atomic bomb, the pill, calculators, microwaves, lasers, the Internet, mobile phones, the space shuttle, and landed on the moon? What country wins the most medals at the Olympics despite having only 5% of the world’s population? If the United States is dying, why do so many people want to immigrate there? If the US economy is so bad, why do so many people flock to buy US treasuries as a safe haven?

http://www.statemaster.com/encyclopedia/List-of-United-States-inventions

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2010/02/14/russian-or-not-russian/

http://sports.espn.go.com/oly/summer08/medals

Maybe I am the last optimist in America, but I think the best years of the United States are ahead of us, not behind us. I would be shocked if the USA won’t be the first country to put a person on Mars, invent mass-produced hydrogen and solar cars, and cure cancer. Americans who worry about the future are ignoring the facts and aren’t doing anyone any favors.

I have lived through many booms and busts. Every time there is boom, people think good times will last forever. Every time there is a recession, people think it will never end. While I am not blind to the difficulties that may exist in the present economy, I just think people should be more optimistic and look at the good sides. I remember when I was in middle school in the mid 1980’s and had a teacher who asked my classmates whether the USA was on the way to the peak of power, at the peak, or on the way down. I was the only student who said the US hasn’t reached the peak yet. A few years later the Soviet Union collapsed, the Japanese economy crashed, and America was the only superpower.

I am not sure if there is a recession, but if there is one, I think it will soon be a distant memory.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/05/opinion/05douthat.html?_r=1

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/04/08/the-comeback-country.html

http://www.nytimes.com/1994/03/12/business/consumer-spending-in-rebound.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

——————————-

Remember: Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.

See the glass as half full, not half empty.

Anyone who bets against the United States will always lose.