Visibility, Strength and Showing Up

Trish McFarlane over at the HR Ringleader has asked us to dig deep and share a personal story of an event in our lives that helped us chart a new path for the Carnival of HR “Game Changing Moments” edition. I didn't have mine finished in time for the carnival but here it is.

I just finished reading Jennifer Miller's story about her life lessons learned in Guadalajara and now I have European adventures on my mind. I am drawn to the bakeries, wine regions and castle-laden hills of Germany and the coasts, beaches and villas of Italy.

I search for a game changing moment in the idyllic Austrian mountains and instead settle on one in a combat equipment company in Pirmasens, Germany.

I was a maintanance officer working for a company commander who was, let's say, troubled. He boasted, bragged, puffed, and fluffed and it was often at my expense. Picking my battles, I effectively countered his false bravado with my finely tuned finesse.

Or so I thought.

Picture this, big battalion commander standing behind his desk. I walk in and am greeted by, "what the hell is going on down there?" Ok, I wanted to play along but I wasn't sure what he was referring. Not one to tolerate silence, he continued, "I received an harassment  complaint, filed on your behalf, from one of your mechanics."

Talk about a game changing moment in the making. 

Not saying a word, he scrunches his forehead and adds an ever so slight tip of the head. I respond with an ever so slight shake of my head. So slight, so quick, "our moment" of concern and confirmation that all was well was over in a blink of an eye when he said, "Get it under control. Now."

Heading to my car, I tried with all my might to feel incredulous, "I'm working for a jerk and I have to get it under control?", but incredulous just wasn't happening for me that day. I felt strength. In that moment, I realized one thing: I was visible and it was time for me to start showing up.

I am not talking about visibility in terms of my rank, my position, or even the basic leadership lesson that my actions were always being scrutinized and observed by others. I am talking about me putting to rest the idea that I didn't matter, that I was operating parallel to everyone else and that being present and doing my job was enough. I realized I could no longer fly under the radar and be satisfied and that my finely tuned finesse was a shoddy smoke screen at best.

Message delivered. Message received. Message remembered.

As a wife, mother, woman, leader, traveler, writer and (fill in the blank) the pull of the comfortable, the safe, and the known is always present and so strong for me yet, when situations are mine to take care of (and even when they are not) I do - just as I did over 20 years ago in a little maintenance shop in Pirmasens, Germany.

Soaring Past Annoying Little Coworker Things

Here's the deal. We, Human Resource professionals, provide a valuable (and cool) service to our organizations. We do, see, and determine things that no other department can do, see or determine. We have a responsibility like no other.

We are here for the big things.

Fighting, arguing, head butting, or clashing with {insert  department of choice here} or each other aren't big things. They are little thing.

What else are little things? Viewing mistakes of others as nonrecoverable, talking about others behind their back, telling one person what another person said about them for no reason other than getting their blood boiling, feeling (or saying) that your way is always better, thinking (or saying) it's not my turn, not my job, or not my turn to care, hoarding information, and saying you work harder, faster, or simply more than all others. Get my drift?

Drift higher. Swat the little things off your shoulder like the nuisances they are and don't engage. Don't let the little things stop you dead in your tracks or worse, veer you off course. Take the high road and stay above the fray. Yes, it may seem unfair that YOU are being asked to take the high road when others are not. I can't make you go there nor will this post get you there - you have to decide to go there for yourself.

Having a tough time deciding? Consider this. The little things do nothing more than distract us from what we can be. We can be big. Or we can be small.

I'm for being big. Let's soar.

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