Honey, I Lost The Kid

There is nothing lonelier than seeing other people go about their day completely unaware that you've just been to a spot where you expected to see your child waiting for you and she wasn't there.

Where is she? Why isn't she here? Did we get our signals crossed? Did she bike left and I ran right? Is she hurt?

Maybe that's her biking up the hill. She always waits for me at the top of the hill. She's not there. She likes to ride fast down the hill, I am sure she'll be there at the bottom waiting for me. She's not there. I look around. She wouldn't get this far ahead of me. We've been biking/running these routes for 3 summers and it is not like us to be separated like this.

Where is Tarah? I am about 2 miles into a 4 mile loop and as far away from the start/finish as I can be. Do I go back . . . or keep moving forward?

There is a strip mall up ahead so I run to a phone closest to the bike path and call a friend. Please help me, I can't find Tarah. I get back on the path hoping she'll see me. I don't see her anywhere. My head starts to spin while my world stands still. Then panic strikes. I flag down one car and then another. One very kind woman <a mom> quickly begins to drive the bike route while another gentleman calls 911.

Within minutes, it all comes together. As I am on the phone with the dispatcher, my friend's husband pulls up and tells me his wife is with Tarah back at the car and she is fine. The other mom returns -   someone had seen Tarah and she offers to take me there. I tell her Tarah is now with a friend of mine and thank her profusely for stopping and looking. The gentleman with the phone left before I had a chance to properly thank him. After speaking with the police, I head to my daughter.

With my permission, Tarah had taken a quick detour to bike around the school parking lot as I kept running. When she headed back to the trail and did not see me, she thought that I was ahead of her. She biked to catch up with me and when she did not see me, headed to our finishing point thinking I was already there. When I was not, she opened her bike pack, took out the car keys and my BB and was going to call a family friend in town.

See, the kid had the BB the whole time. So when I ran to the first phone to call a friend, I could have called Tarah. When I asked the gentleman to call 911, I could have asked him to call Tarah. I did not know where my little girl was and I had to find her. I wasn't thinking straight.

Tarah kept her wits much better than I did. It's cool that she thought I was running so fast she had to bike to catch up with me. Cool, but not reality. What's real is that this little girl is the very center of my entire world.

Honey, I found the kid. 

Parenting Lesson Foiled by the Murano Glass Guy

As the mother of a 10 (going on 14) year old daughter, I am always on the look out for teachable moments. As a person who gets crazy when she feels like she is being nickel and dimed to death, teachable moments abound at the mall.

I had about reached my limit the other day.

"Yes, we can get schools supplies today." "No, you don't need another Build-A-Bear." "No, not that. Not now, not ever." "Too early in the season for this." "Get a job if you want to dress like that."

It's about choices kid.

And with this, we headed to the pretzel place to get a snack <and spend the last bills in my wallet> and almost tripped over the Murano glass table in the middle of the walkway. Lo and behold, it was covered with glass replicas of the kid's one downfall: peace signs. I muttered under my breath as the kid was quickly drawn to the table with me <and my wallet> in tow.

"Just one peace sign, Mom?"

"No."

"Look, it's only $5.00."

"You have over 100 peace signs at home already <I embellish when I am agitated>. Put it down and let's get moving."

"But I don't have this black and white one."

"And you won't be getting the black and white one today. I am done spending money on stuff." 

Under please, pleas, pursed lips and pouts, we headed for the pretzel place. The kid kicked into negotiation gear while waiting in line to place her pretzel order. I engaged <my first mistake> and she ended up trading her pretzel bites and lemonade for a peace sign necklace. 

We left with one pretzel - mine - and headed back to the Murano glass guy.

With open hands and a cheeky smile the Murano glass guy greeted us with an all to knowing, "I knew she'd be back!" Just so everyone was clear that I didn't buckle but taught the kid a valuable lesson about choices, I made sure he was aware that she traded her pretzel for a necklace. <My second mistake.>

We completed the transaction and started to leave when the Murano glass guy started to say something I did not understand so we turned back around. You'll never guess what he said.

"I want to buy a pretzel for the little girl." 

"You want to do what? Why would you want to do that?" (I am trying to teach a lesson here, remember.)

"She gave up her pretzel buy something from me, now I want to buy her a pretzel. "

"Not necessary. Thank you."

"But I must. You must let me do this for you."

Not at all seeing how this would help me, I buckled anyway. As I did, I thought I saw the oh-so-subtle power of balance shift away from me but my view was blocked by generosity, kindness and an ear to ear grin. 

Picking battles, teaching lessons, learning to laugh at how things turn out . . . it's about choices. 

Cross posted on Raising Tarah

On Parental Patience

"Have patience with me," said the kid to the mom and that was all it took to send the mom down a path of inquiry. Truth be known, it really doesn't take much. Days are full and lives are full. At the end of a full day, even the best can find themselves a bit drained. Throw in multiple requests to get the teeth brushed, the homework done and the snacking complete and patience can be in short supply.

From the little day to day happenings to the big things in mind, life is full of opportunity and choices. The challenge lies in managing the equation and choosing "right" while forgetting the rest. Some days I clearly do better than others yet every day I see the reflection of my choices in my family. And, in the spirit of equal partnership, the same holds true for the husband.

So yes,we lose patience as parents and I donate regularly to the kid's future counseling fund but overall, the reflections we see are positive.

Why? We try hard to remember that of all the big things and little things in our days, the biggest little thing in it all is the amazing little being we call "the kid."

What's the biggest little thing in your life?