Seeking Advice: Getting Over Being Passed Over for Promotion

An employee wrote in and is very frustrated being asked to fill in for supervisors when nobody is available but getting passed over for promotions when it really counts.

A shortened version of what was submitted is below:

I really appreciated reading this post, Tired of Your Job? Maybe it's Time to Ask the Tough Questions. I have been focused on college for two years now, while at the same time building a good reputation with my job. However, along the way, I have become what I like to call a bounce-ball supervisor. I am there when they need me, but when promotion time comes, I do not get the raise and the position.

However, they are quick to point out when there is nobody available that "I am the man for the job." After almost two and a half years, I feel used and tired. I want to stay, but am tired of being called a good leader and then not promoted when good leaders are needed.

If anyone has a different outlook, please advise me.

My advice is to talk with your supervisor or someone in the company who would be in a position to observe you day to day about why he or she thinks you are not getting selected for promotions. It may be something you are doing <or not doing> or it could have absolutely nothing to do with you at all. It's easy to spin within our own thoughts about what we think other people's motives are and a few facts can make a world of difference. Listen to what they tell you - do not argue, defend or challenge. Take the feedback for what it is. Getting over being passed over is not easy, but it can be done. Not all employers have nefarious motives but if yours does, it may be time to move on. 

HR professionals, what advice do you have for this reader?  

Comments

[Alan Hill]

I have seen people rapidly promoted because they did one important thing - they asked to be promoted. Specifically, they asked to be mentored by leaders. This gave senior leaders permission to give them honest, critical performance feedback (not the formal kind you get once a year but the kind you get when someone really wants you to succeed).

consider that you are also volunteering in exchange. In essence, you have struck a silent bargain, an unwritten social contract - you let them sample your supervisor capabilities in exchange for a future reward of a permanent position later. unfortunately only YOU agreed to the terms, they didn't. Your leaders don't even know there is an expectation so they have no ability to live up to it. Have you mentioned your expectations to your boss, their boss and their peers? If so, wonderful - then give them permission to give you honest feedback (as Lisa mentioned). Otherwise they probably won't give it.

Ever give advice to someone that didn't take it? It didn't make you want to repeat that, right? Well - likewise, they don't want to give you real advice unless they know you give them permission to be critical and honest (ie really helpful).

if you want a peer relationship with your leaders, you get to start it. Treat them like peers, not like your boss. You can set the tone.

Hope that helped?

[Rick]

I agree that you should ask for honest feedback not only on what you need to do to get promoted to the next level but how you could be better at your current position. Then I would identify short and long-term goals and specific action plans to achieve these goals. I would then ask for more feedback from the same people on your goals and action plans. You will feel much better, be more confident, and show others you are serious and taking control of your career.

[Halley | Business Cards Online]

I totally agree with your suggestions to ask someone to observe your day to day work and have an assessment on why you should or should not be promoted. Don't go for close friends because you could get biased results.

[Lisa Rosendahl]

Alan, as always, you were spot on. Your point about the unwritten social contract is such a visual reminder of something we don't "do" yet rarely realize.

Rick, your suggestion on seeking feedback to improve in the current position is great! We are applying for our next opportunity each and every day.

Halley, agreed! Close friends are always a question, while some are brutally honest, they are not likely in a position to observe you day to day in the workplace.

[Norman James - Texas Jobs]

it is good article. i like it.

[Living Room Furniture Stores Atlanta]

I've dealt with this as well.
I feel overlooked but it's more so a question of
my age and potential for relocation. it sucks
but I'm hoping things will change soon.

[Masood]

Thanks for this gorgious post... This is good point of discussion... Some employees dont get promotions they need to be observed from their managers... You have sugessted good tricks for this purpose

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