Public Speaking Freaks Me Out

Public speaking freaks me out. 

It's not the thought of speaking publicly that freaks me out or even that actual speaking itself. I have been offering myself up for speaking opportunities more often lately. But lo and behold, someone takes me up on the offer and then, well, the freak out begins. It goes something like this:

Someone asks if I'd be interested in speaking. Even though it seems as though every fiber in my body tells me to run, I don't.  I say yes. I get the gig. 

I freak out.

What was I thinking. I can't do this. I don't know anything. I'll run out of things to say. I'll disappoint xxx. Everything, and I mean everything, rides on this one presentation. (A little drama, right?)

Need. Data. Now. I scour the internet for expert sources. I frantically try to build data depository so I can know absolutely everything. I pace. I scrible. I outline. I revise.

Then I stop.

I pull out Organization and Presentation Tips by Garr Reynolds of Presentation Zen. I touch the pages and begin to settle down. I move through the tips one by one, jot ideas down one by one . . . and then "it" appears.

"It" is a perspective, a quote, or an idea that resonates with me. "It" is a story only I can tell. "It" allows me to focus and let the fun begin.

I am calm.

And I'll be that way until the night before the presentation. Yes, even though I said that actual speaking doesn't freak me out - it does. It's a mind game I play with myself. It doesn't work.

So, how do you control - or silence - your public speaking freak out?

Photo credit iStockPhoto

Comments

[Paul DeBettignies | MN Headhunter]

How about we have a little fun with this? No need to be uptight with our group. Share what you know, talk about success and failure, what you would do over again, what's next and why this subject matters.

You know this stuff, you really do.

Just let if flow...

[Jennifer McClure]

Lisa - I know you'll do great, as always. Just remember to bring your drumstick from #HRevolution to break during times of stress. :)

I think many good speakers (actors, singers, etc.) continue to have stage fright throughout their careers - and that's probably one reason why they're good at what they do. I think it shows that you care and you want to do excellent work. If you weren't nervous or a bit apprehensive, it might mean that you've grown complacent and your audience wouldn't get your best. That touch of nerves to me means that you care. So maybe, it's a good thing.

Wish I could come to the Minnesota Recruiter's Conference to hear your talk on Friday. I have no doubt that you'll deliver a winner. Good luck!

[kelly dingee]

Oh Lisa I feel your pain! In fact I joke with my friends that I'm on the "speaking diet"...I usually get so tied up in knots before I train or speak at an event that I drop 5-10 lbs easy!

But, the nerves help me bring my best.....and I'm pretty darn sure you do too...best wishes on the next event. I'm envious of my AIRS co-work that lives in MN and is planning to attend!

[Public Speaking Blogger!]

If you're going to speak in front of a group, or anywhere for that matter, I do one thing that makes me less nervous: I tell myself that speaking is a hobby, and that I'm doing this for fun. If it seems like work, it's gonna suck. Fun things don't suck. So have fun and it will be easier than imagining that you are being forced to speak at gunpoint.

[TJ Walker]

The best way is to videotape yourself practicing and watch it. Keep doing it until you like what you see

[Allen]

Hi Lisa,

1. As the speaker, you're viewed as the expert, so go in with the confidence you are the expert.
2. Most people are compassionate for the speaker and want them to be successful, so the audience usually is planning an overthrow of the presentation.
3. If someone asks a tough question, acknowledge their question and indicate you will get back with them.
4. Being human is desired by most audiences, so perfection expectations usually don't exist.

As an aside, I am usually extremely comfortable in front of a group, but not one on one. I've heard many actors / performers have the same stress at an individual level. Life is enjoyable as a result of each of our human traits. Embrace them, don't fear them.

[Theresa Walsh]

Hi Lisa, I agree with Allen. Speakers are viewed as experts and usually the audience is on their side. However from time to time you might get an audience who got irritated with the previous speaker and that can be a challenge to overcome. Personally I have never been in that situation but have seen it from the audience point of view and I felt really sorry for the speaker.

[Lisa Rosendahl]

@Paul, first freak out . . .then fun. See you tomorrow!

@Jennifer, nervous = caring - I like that! I'll trade my drumstick for my Cincy co-leader any day but since I can't have you, the inanimate object will have to suffice :)

@Kelly, I'll try to take a tipfrom your daughter . . .smile. I'll let you know how it goes.

@Publicspeakingblogger, fun seems to be the theme. I'm there - funland, here I come!

@TJ, video taping seems scary than actually presenting but definitley a great piece of advice. Thanks.

@Alan, thanks for the reminder - I am human, phew!

@Theresa, thanks, for the tip. I'll make sure I don't follow any trouble makers!

[Brenda Krueger Huffman]

I have been public speaking for years, and I still get a little nervous. I have found that if I just make sure my presentation is organized in my head, and I have the first three lines I will speak down, the rest turns out fine. It is always the first minute or so that I am a little nervous. Once I start talking, I'm fine. So, I make sure I know "exactly" what my first few sentences are going to be.

Then, it is just a matter of "self-talk" the day or two before. I tell myself every time I think about presenting and start to have a little nerves - "You are going to do great. You are going to have fun with this. You always do well and enjoy it!" That works every time for me. If negative self-talk can tear your confidence down - positive self talk can build your confidence up!

[Alan Hill]

I don't create presentations, I create 'space' for a conversation.
I am confident I know what to say when I am 'one on one', so why wouldn't I be comfortable one on many?
I dunno... I have a different perspective on presenting I guess... every presentation I give is different. Every presentation I give is real... Every presentation I give is me, all me... whatever the audience needs and wants in that moment.
I don't plan, I don't create, I don't... structure, I simply offer an opportunity to talk.
I already know I know my material, I already know I know what value I bring, I am willing to leave all that behind and just 'show up' be present and interact with whomever is there... one on one or one to many