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Tuesday
Jun222010

Pity, Power and True Confession

Driving home the other day, the kid asked, "Were you bullied in high school Mom?"

"Nope," I said.

"Why not?" she countered.

"Well, kiddo," I confessed, "No one even knew I existed."

"That's pitiful Mom."  Yes, pitiful, but true.

What's also true is the way cattiness catches my leadership attention. Some of my greatest failures, or acts of learning, have been in providing leadership in these situations. Here are three tidbits of wisdom and one leadership mantra I've developed along the way:  

  1. Don't react.
  2. Expect spats. All of the people will not get along all of the time.
  3. Question intent. Is it a matter of maturity or a matter of choice?

Now, repeat after me, "I am not responsible for psyche management, I expect staff to soar past annoying little coworker things and true leaders emerge when the squeeze is on."

Why should staff take the high road and pick their battles? Well, it's not good for their health to get stressed over the small stuff, leaders promote problem solvers - not problem makers, there is too much to accomplish to waste time on this, and yada, yada, yada. Pitiful reasons, huh?

Do you want to know the real reason? 

It's a secret and I am not sure I want to share it.

Ok, I will.

"It's POWERFUL."

Try it. Peace out.

 

Reader Comments (2)

Such sage advice. You know, at one point in life, every one of us is bullied or teased. And yes, it continues as adults. I guess that is why I cringe if someone says I'm part of the "HR cool kids". It's not about being a cool kid. I just want to be Trish. Some people love me, some don't. I'm ok with that. There will always be people who don't understand you, who think you have ulterior motives, or who just want to be catty. Let 'em. As for me, I hope to teach my kids to let it roll off their backs and just be true to themselves. Those people who really understand them will be life-long friends. All the rest don't really matter.

Nice post Lisa.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrish McFarlane
Now that's sage advice Trish - for us and for our children.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 | Registered CommenterLisa Rosendahl
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