Shaping Your World With Words

Our daughter does not spend a night at home without either me or my husband beside her as she falls asleep. A tired, content kid is also an unguarded one and it is in the last few waking moments that we find out most about what's on her mind. The other night was no different and, by 6:30 am the following morning, I had already gone to the gym, stopped by Caribou Coffee And finished leaving early morning messages for two different people.

Something on your mind? Use your words.

My first call was to my daughter's teacher. The kid was having problems finding a reading assessment on the computer and was concerned about asking her teacher to help her. So much so, she did not want to go to school. I know the teacher and this did not make sense to me. We agreed that I would contact the teacher and she would go to school.

My second call was to a photographer. We had pictures taken and ordered a set of three 4x6 pictures for dad for Valentines Day. Two pictures were of the kid and the third was of the both of us together. Driving home she had another idea and wanted one picture of her, one of me and one of the both of us. We agreed that I would contact the photographer and, if we could, we would change our order.

You can shape your world with your words.

Why did I make those calls? Simple, I made the calls because the kid asked me to. More than that, she had a concern or she had an idea AND she told me. She used her words and I responded. As a mother, I want my daughter to know that there is power in her words;she can use them to rock her world and compel those around her.

My daughter's words in these two instances were calls for action.She needed something and I was in a position to act. We communicate with others every day. We we want something done, we can communicate, as my daughter did, to request action. When we are interested in building relationships, we can communicate to establish trust. When we are wondering what is possible, we can communicate to explore and speculate with others.

My daughter's teacher approached her first thing in the morning and offered to walk her through the steps to locate the reading assignment on the computer. She then found it on her own, aced the assignment and recorded it as a high for the day in her journal. Although the photography order was already placed, the photographer made the change the kid requested and it turned out fabulous!

Communicate.

If you want things to be different than they are now, you have to let others know what's on your mind.

What do you have to say? Say it and expect the unexpected.

Comments

[Gwen]

Coincidentally, I had just had a conversation with a co-worker yesterday about the importance of listening to our kids. I don't mean just being in the same place while they are "talking at us". I mean real, look them in the face, "I think what you're saying is important" listening. My daughter is now 15 1/2, and she still talks to us (Mom and Dad) all the time. I remember picking her up from school when she was in elemenary school (and even during the evil middle school years) and she would be so excited and just babbling away about every MOMENT of her day. But even then, I gave her my full attention and let her know that her thoughts, feelings and even her 8-year-old opinions were important to me and even to the world. I think that letting kids know the value of their words gives them a tremendous amount of self confidence, and lets them realize, like you said, that they can change things with their words. Kudos to you!

[Rachel - I Hate HR]

"Use your words" is one of my favorite phrases. I actually say it to the dogs quite frequently. For example I knew Oliver had to poop this morning but he just kept walking around the room and looking at me. So I told him to "use his words." Eventually he gave in and went to the door to tell me he wanted to go out.

[Lisa Rosendahl]

LOL, I am watching our puppy right now and know exactly what you mean!

[HR Good_Witch]

Thank you for this post. It is such a basic and important issue. I don't know how many times I have counselled managers and employees, to actually say out loud to their employee or boss what they think / feel / want. "It's amazing what you'll get if you actually ask". It's astonishing how afraid we are to be open and honest. By the way, everyone.... 'No! Just because you looked at someone in a slightly subtle way and moved in a certain way, you have NOT given them the message. You may very well have given them A message, but odds are absolutely against you that it was the message you intended.... use your words!!"

[HR Maven]

This is a great post! It's also important in listening AT work - the words that people use. Having previously been a social worker, almost never is the presenting issue the real problem. When people ask to come talk to me, and it's a timecard issue or a question about a job posting, I find that it's almost always much more than that - issues with a colleague/coworker or supervisor, problem at home, lacking or missing something. The question behind the question is a great way to explore when people talk. :)

Thanks Lisa.

[RMSJr]

I can't imagine a world where I am not immersed in words. A pet phrase peeve for me is. "You know what I mean", spoken as a declarative. No I don't. I failed mind reading in grade school, high school, military training and college, not for the lack of motivation to try. Also, I'm no Jeane Dixon, I have no ESP. Hence, my nearly tagline response, "Tell me what I need to know."

I was thinking about word immersion this morning, while out and about, I sense a Maine Forest Cafe blog posting.